I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
