using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
