Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You can't motorboat a personality
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
