just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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