wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize