I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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