just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
