and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
