This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
