I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize