if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
