is your mom at the bar?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
