I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
