Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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