I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Of course I have a pirate flag
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
