i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
