As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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