I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's rum buckets o'clock
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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