It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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