I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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