what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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