I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize