just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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