he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You are a genius and a whore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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