You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
