I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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