I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
