Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
