So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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