he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
