let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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