i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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