I love black thongs
so let's talk penis.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
