When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
