The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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