I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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