next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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