walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
