she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
