If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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