ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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