I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
