You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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