so that wasnt chicken after all
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dear god my vagina.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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