Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
