bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
