Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
