Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We left an ass print on the piano.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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