bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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