I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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