You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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