i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
