Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
