dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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