I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
