every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
