Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You can't just leave with hair like that
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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