her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
